Mother Hunger: Lets look at the Mother ArchetypeAug 05, 2022
I absolutely love this term, 'Mother Hunger' - it is based on a book by the incredible Kelly McDaniel. I was introduced to Kelly and her book on the Red Table Talks on Facebook.
(If you prefer to list to me talk about Mother Hunger - Check out Youtube video HERE)
In that episode they talk about the 3 foundations or pillars which every child needs. Nurturing, Protection and Guidance. If a child does not get one of these (or worse lacks all three). It sets us up for issues as an adult.
During the episode it talked about a behaviourist Dr John B Watson and how in the 1920 he experiments on babies to prove they could be trained just like animals.
He taught these principles:
1 - Never hug your child
2 - Never let your child sit on your lap
3 - Shake hands to greet in the morning
4 - A pat on the head was allowed if they were extraordinarily good
5 - Let them 'Cry it out' when trying to get them to sleep
This man was the PRESIDENT of the American Psychological Association.
Can you see how our great grandparents would have been raised, how many of the issues you see through our generation is influenced by this. American TV has been teaching us for a very long time, all around the world.
How many times have you witnessed people being uncomfortable with seeing people cry or struggle with lack of words of affection and never hugging each other.
People never spoke about their emotions.
When I watched this episode, I realised all of my clients have had Mother Hunger in varying degrees of severity. I have clients who are neglected or abused in all three categories or some in just one.
While I have never used the word 'Mother Hunger' I do teach about the Mother archetype and some of you may of watched my videos. I talk about the light and shadow aspects of the Mother archetype.
I have referred to it as the Mother Wound before, I think it all ties in perfectly when we study the archetypes and the energetics.
When a child is born, their individual archetypes cannot come forth and be expressed. They are hyper aware of their parents and intrinsically tied to them energetically.
They know if their Mother is in her Shadow archetype and they know if their Father is in his Shadow archetype.
They can be days old and they know something is wrong.
I think this is the most important thing to remind yourself as an adult. You knew from a very young age if your mother was archetypally in her light or shadow. You can feel different and alienated from other children who have openly loving Mothers.
Its important that we don't go into our Victim archetype and start listing all the ways our Mother failed/hurt us. She is a product of her own upbringing and culture.
We had behaviourists like John B Watson, cultural traditions and generations rife with abuse....our Mothers didn't have the time to do the healing, self-help, soul searching that you and I have the luxury of doing now.
Self-empowerment, healing, coaching, self-help books, workshops, seminars, retreats, none of these was available for my mother and most likely yours.
My mother had severe trauma as a child and I remember her telling me about how her and my father sat down and agreed not to raise us 5 kids like they were raised.
Without a book, without self-help courses or coaching - my parents broke that cycle and I believe that is what gives me the drive to keep finding my sabotaging patterns and breaking them.
Let’s take a quick look at the Mother Archetype:
A mother is nurturing, comforting and soothing. This doesn't mean she will not discipline or teach you - just that you will never doubt her love while she does (its natural for kids to push boundaries)
A mother is protective - a mother will fight for your emotional, mental and physical protection.
A mother listens, hears your fears, counsels, take confessions, helps you believe you can strive for your dreams.
A shadow mother neglects you, no hugs or words of affection. She doesn't pay attention or listen to you. Shadow mothers can be physically, verbally or mentally abusive.
A shadow mother can smother, become co-dependent or a helicopter mother.
Now don't forget that you can have different combinations. You can be a great mother and sometimes dip down into the shadow aspects for a few mins/hours.
Or Mothers might have to take on the archetypal role of both the Mother and the Father.
It wasn't until I watched this red table talk that I understood just how many clients I have helped heal their 'Mother Hunger'. It is something I am really proud of and I hope to help many more men and women heal their Mother wound.
In the red table talk, Kelly McDaniel talked about what adults who find themselves with Mother Hunger can do. She suggests creating a 'Celestial Mother Figure' who they can talk to and feel love/guidance from.
This is something I was doing for years but in a slightly different way. I have guided my clients to work with different Goddess archetypes, to call upon Quan Yin or Mother Mary if in need of compassion. Goddess Isis for help with Alchemy or Kali and Durga for warrior energy.
I have also been told repeatedly that I have a lovely nurturing energy. I think I was unknowingly tapping into the thing my clients needed most. I can hold people accountable if they need discipline and I can hold space as they cry and heal.
If you ever need help with your Mother Hunger or Mother Wound, please don't hesitate to reach out. I can help you.
You can always book in for a free chat with me HERE.
Visit my website to find out more - www.jessbeard.online
(Many people who have Mother Wounds also have the Imposter Syndrome - click HERE to read about the archetype behind why we feel like an Imposter)
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